


Love changes everything. Story 4, Eileen Grimshaw's boys.

by Margorobron



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-11 05:17:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7877992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Margorobron/pseuds/Margorobron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story 4.This story follows on from a link in Eileen Grimshaw's boys. Todd Grimshaw is married to Billy Grimshaw and they have a daughter Evie.<br/>Sean Tully is now Sean Hammon as he is married to Scott Hammon. Sean is now officially named as a joint parent to Scott's daughter Emily. Everything is running smoothly until two people realise that they are in love, but they shouldn't be. What reactions will there be to this and how will it be solved !</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love changes everything. Story 4, Eileen Grimshaw's boys.

Eileen was standing at the window in the upstairs sitting room of number 11 Coronation Street. Children's TV was playing as always and Emily was sitting on the carpet surrounded by half of the toys from her big toy bag. Eileen had been checking the window off and on for the past fifteen minutes. She was hoping that Todd would come over from the florists to eat his lunch with her. Ideally she would like Scott to come home first from his shift in the Rovers, which ended at 12 but it would probably be a while after that before he actually walked out the door.  
"Granny what's outside?" Emily had noted Eileen's constant interest and wondered what she was missing.  
"Oh nothing Emmie. I'm just watching for Uncle Todd. He said he may come over for lunch with me." "What's he having?" Emily asked.  
"Just a sandwich "Eileen told her.  
"A little lunch. "Emily observed .,  
Eileen continued her watch at the window until she saw Scott returning from work at which point she left the window and put the kettle on. It was just boiling as Scott climbed over the gate and Emily silently raised her arms to him. He picked her up and hugged her, burying his face in her as he swayed with her.  
Eileen put her hand on his shoulder.  
"I've made your tea so I'll leave you to it. See you later. "  
Scott had wanted to talk to Eileen. His head was in an absolute muddle and he didn't known if he were coming or going and he hoped she could help him to sort it out, but she was dashing out the door and not even sharing a brew with him as she usually did when he got home. The day had begun normally until Sean suggested that if they were considering an extra family member, they needed more room and that meant leaving Eileen's two room accommodation which had become home to him. He really didn't know why it had happened, but this conversation had caused him to have panic attacks. He couldn't get his head round it, but it had made him feel totally "off" all morning. He put Emily down and she went back to her toys while he picked up his mug of tea.  
  
Eileen went back downstairs and made two sandwiches in the hope that Todd was going to join her. As she finished making it, she heard the key in the lock and Todd came in to the sitting room.  
"Hi mum." he said, heading towards the kitchen as his mum poured the water on to the tea bag.  
"I wasn't sure if you were coming or not ."Eileen said. "You didn't answer my text. Your sarnie is here. "  
Eileen gestured towards the two plates as she grabbed the mugs. Todd picked up the plates to put on the table and pulled out a chair. Eileen joined him and they began to eat their sandwiches.  
  
"Well this is very pleasant but I'm sure there has to be a catch."Todd said.  
"Todd. I'm worried.," Eileen said.  
"What about? What's happened?" Todd asked.  
"It's not what about, it's who."  
"Ok. So who?"  
"Scott."  
"What's he done? Is he ok? Where is he ?" Todd was on the edge of his seat, sandwich back on the plate."  
"Calm down. This isn't life threatening!" Eileen consoled. "So, what is it then?"Todd demanded. "Is he illl? Is he in trouble? Is it Sean?Tell me!"  
  
Eileen looked past Todd towards the door. "Hello love. Are you ok?" Todd turned and saw Scott in the doorway . "I er didn't know you were busy.I'll come back later." Scott said ,turning to go. "I was hoping to talk to you though love" Eileen said to Scott. "Yes" Scott said. "Likewise " And he was gone.  
  
Todd held his hands out." Well he looks all right and he is still here. That cuts a couple options" Todd said, but then took on a quieter voice. "Mum, I'm sorry. You're worrying me. Tell me what's happened." "Well that's just it. I don't know. He hasn't told me. But I know there is something. And I think it's big. He shouldn't have gone to work today but he said he was fine."  
"So what did he say? What did he do? Why do you think there's something wrong?"  
"Call it instinct if you like,"Eileen said, "but he's not right. He just came in here and he didn't even say hello to you. That's not normal to start with."  
"What do you want me to do ?"Todd said quietly, with a sigh.  
"I don't know love but I think someone needs to break through and if anyone can, it's you."she said.  
"So I go upstairs and say what?" Todd asked. Eileen looked at him helplessly "  
" Don't Tell me. You don't know!" Todd said." Oh mum. I haven't even spoken to him so I'm not going to tell if there's something wrong!" he said.  
"I'm sorry I text you. Have your sarnie and I'll make you another hot cup of tea. That one's gone cold." Eileen tried to close the subject.  
"Mum, that's not going to work." Todd said."I'm not leaving here until I have spoken to him, so any clues would be helpful. Something happened this morning for you to text me. At least share that bit with me." Todd said.  
"He seemed almost disorientated when he came in first thing. He said Sean had said something this morning which threw him into a panic but he didn't know why. He said he had felt out of it ever since. He wanted to talk to me when he got home. I asked if he was ok to go to work and he said he was fine. He said goodbye and was gone. That's all I know, but it didn't sound right and I got the impression he wasn't going to want to share readily. So that's why I sent you the text. If he will share with anyone it's you."  
"Ok. I'm going to have to go and see him. God knows what I'm going to say though!"  
  
  
Todd got up and left the room. He hesitated and then set off up to the upstairs sitting room. He reached the top and could see Scott on the sofa with his head in his hands. Todd's stomach turned over at the sight of him. Emily was on the carpet occupying herself.  
Todd climbed over the gate into the room. Emily saw him straight away and ran over to him. Todd picked her up, wishing to avoid making Scott jump and Emily threw her arms round his neck as she always did with almost a bear hug. He squeezed her waist and she laughed and giggled but Scott was unaware. Emily released Todd from the bear hug and realised he was watching Scott. "Dada is sad."Emily volunteered . Todd nodded. "Dont know why. Not me! I'm a good girl!" Emily hastened to add.  
Todd whispered to Emily that she is always a good girl and he knows this isn't her fault. He told her that he was going to try to find out why Dada is sad so could she carry on playing with her toys whilst he talked to him. Emily did one of her exaggerated nods and Todd kissed her and put her down so that she could return to her toys.  
  
Scott was still unaware of his presence. Todd knew that this was bad. As he sat down on the sofa, Scott didn't move .  
  
"Emmie," Scott said through his hands" Dada can't play today sweetie. I'm very sorry. Can you go and play by yourself for a bit longer? Then I'll get your lunch. I'm sorry. You're such a good girl."  
Todd took a deep breath and moved closer. He put his arm round Scott's shoulders and waited for some reaction. There was none.  
  
"Scott.",Todd said gently, not removing his arm. He squeezed his shoulder. As if in slow motion, Scott dropped his hands and turned to look at Todd.  
"Hello mate."Todd said. Scott's face was streaked with silent tears.  
Scott threw himself into Todd's arms , his arm around his neck and Todd held him tightly, rubbing his back. He could feel Scott shaking as the tears began to flow again. Emily watched for a while but was then distracted by the television and she took no more notice. Todd pressed his cheek against Scott's and then brought his hand up.to caress his hair. He could feel Scott's tremor as he tried to control himself. With his free hand, he took his phone from his pocket and text his mum to come and collect Emily and take her down with her for some lunch. Almost immediately Eileen was at the door. "Emmie" Todd called her gently and she looked over to him.  
"Granny is going to take you downstairs for some lunch, sweetie" he said and Emily looked towards the gate where Eileen stood smiling and waving to her. Emily nodded and stood up.  
"Take a couple toys" Todd said ,so she picked up three. As she passed, she put her hand on her Dada's knee and looked at Todd. "Don't worry. I'll soon get him sorted."Todd said, smiling at her. She nodded and went over to Eileen, who lifted her over the gate, before heading for the stairs . Emily held the banister as she had been taught once Eileen had taken the toys from her and they disappeared.  
  
Todd could then concentrate on Scott.  
"Ok." he said quietly in his ear. "We are on our own now. He tried to remove Scott's arm from his neck, but Scott clung on to him.  
"Come on, please. I want to know what's up."He tried again to remove the arm. "Ok then .This is my lunch break. I'm going to have to go. I'll leave you to it as you don't want my help." Todd tried to remove Scott completely and attempt to stand up.  
"No! " sobbed Scott. "Don't leave me!"  
He moved back a bit from Todd. Todd ran his hands through Scott's hair to unstick it from his clammy wet face and Scott closed his eyes. He was still trying to control his breathing. Todd put his hands on his cheeks.  
"Take deep breaths" he said. "It will calm you down."  
Scott rubbed his face against one of Todd's hands, his eyes still closed, gradually being able to breathe more deeply. In the silence, Scott was able to control his breathing, calming himself at the same time. As he became less agitated, he rested his head on Todd's shoulder, his cheek against Todd's. Todd returned to rubbing Scott's back.  
  
"I wasn't joking about the lunch hour."he said quietly almost in Scott's ear. "I'm going to have to go soon, but I can't go without knowing what this is all about, so you need to start talking pretty soon."  
Scott shuffled so that he had his head on Todd's chest, his hand on Todd's shoulder but touching his cheek.  
Todd kept his arms around him gently, rubbing his arm. "So what's happened?" he asked.  
"Nothing really."said Scott in a quiet husky voice, still very emotional.  
"This really doesn't look like nothing to me!" Todd replied." Try starting at the beginning. Were you ok when you got up?" Scott nodded.  
"Right. Did you speak to Sean ?" Another nod." What was Sean talking about?"  
"He wants another baby."Scott said.  
"And you don't."Todd assumed.  
"It's not that. I do want another. I don't want Emm to be an only child. I want Sean to have the experience of a small baby too. He hasn't had that with Emm."  
"No. Are you concerned about the adoption process? I can talk you through that. It won't be a problem for you, especially as you have Emily as an example of what good dads you are."  
Scott shook his head. "It's not that. I think we should be ok. I've had Emm since she was 5 months old and before I was with Sean, I was her sole carer and I'm sure they can see how much Sean loves her. I don't think that will be a problem."  
Scott lifted himself from Todd's arms and sat up, still facing Todd. Todd thought he must be getting closer to the root of the problem.  
"I'm sure it won't. "Todd agreed." So what arrangements need to be put in place before this can happen? Where would it sleep? Emily is still in your bedroom isn't she. Mum has the extra room now Jas isn't here. Could you move along a bit or will that be expensive for you?" " We have been talking to mum about that. She suggested we decorate Jason's room because it isn't very girly."  
"Oh that will be nice. Won't it?" Scott nodded.  
Todd still couldn't pinpoint a problem although he was sure he must be getting nearer.  
" What would be the problem with Emm in a different room? Do you think she won't be safe there?"  
" She's quite grown up, I think. I don't think she would have a problem with having her own room. I don't know what we would do about keeping her in it. A gate at the door I suppose. The same as in this room" Scott told him, thinking out loud. Todd nodded.  
"Had you thought about moving out and getting a place of your own?"he asked.  
  
Scott swallowed hard, his breath catching and Todd saw his face change. He didn't reply but he looked into Todd's eyes, fear leaping from his own. Todd instantly pulled him back into his arms and held him tightly.  
"You don't want to leave here."Todd said.  
"I can't leave here."Scott muttered.  
"This is my home, my haven, my safe place. I had nothing when I came here. It was the worst time of my life. I was at my lowest ever. But she brought me back from there. She looked after me. She gave me confidence. She made this place home for me. I don't want to leave that safety. I can't leave it! I will sink again without her."  
Todd was totally taken by surprise. He hadn't expected that.  
"This is about mum. You can't leave."  
"You already thought I was pathetic cos I can't live without you. Well now you can beat that can't you. I can't live without your mother either!" Scott began to sob again, clutching on to Todd. Todd buried his face against Scott's and rocked him. The mist over the problem was beginning to clear.  
He looked at the clock. He should have been back at work five minutes ago, but he couldn't possibly leave Scott in this state. He had only just established what was wrong. He took out his phone to text his mum, asking her to explain to Tracy that he was in a domestic and couldn't come back to work at the moment. She should say he would be back as soon as possible and would try to make it up by staying on after closing. Eileen was delighted to have to make the call, but Todd assured her he couldn't do it himself right now. Scott was still sobbing in his arms but he didn't add this to the text and guessed his mum could actually hear it anyway. She was only downstairs after all. She agreed to make the call.  
  
Todd turned his attention back to the person in his arms. He almost expected him to be sucking his thumb. That's how open and vulnerable he had become. Todd wanted him to talk more, but at the moment that wasn't possible, so he had to go with the flow. His phone buzzed and he read the text from his mum telling him Tracy was a tad less than supportive. This brought a smile to Todd's face imagining the conversation , but she accepted that he would be back when he could, adding that would probably be tomorrow! Eileen then asked how things were going and whether she could come up and grab some different toys for Emily.Todd doubted Scott would even notice her in the room at the moment.  
Eileen appeared at the top of the stairs with the toys Emily had taken and she climbed over the gate. She froze looking at Scott as her heart melted at the pain she could tell he was in. She came over to the sofa and planted a gentle kiss to the top of Scott's head before replacing Emily's toys in her basket and picking up some more. She raised her eyebrows and smiled at Todd sadly before leaving. Scott had no idea she was there and didn't react to.the kiss. If only Eileen had known how significant that had been and if only Scott had known she did it.  
  
Todd decided that they had reached a standstill and wondered what he could do to alleviate the situation.  
  
"Right!" he said. "I'm going to try to help this conversation the way mum would. She solves everything this way. I'm going to make us a brew." He carefully lifted Scott off him and headed to the kitchen area. Scott turned to face where Todd had been and put his feet up on the sofa, hugging his knees and resting his head on them, eyes closed .  
Todd returned to the sofa with two mugs. "Here you are" Todd said. Scott raised his head and took the tea as Todd squeezed back in to his space. They sipped the drink in silence. Todd put his empty mug on the floor and then put a hand on each of Scott''s arms. "Look at me, Scott" he said and waited. He repeated his request. Slowly Scott looked up at him. "Thank you "he said. "You know you've got a problem here, don't you." he said and immediately lost eye contact, so Todd lifted Scott's chin with his thumb. Scott couldn't look him in the eye .  
"Tell me why. Why Is mum so important to you?"  
Scott talked very quietly.  
"She means everything to me. When I came to live here, I had nothing. I had fallen for Sean but that was it. I was in a horrible flat, dark ,cold, dreary. I was trapped in there because I had Emily. I couldn't go anywhere. I didn't know who I was. I had no friends. I knew no one.I didn't know where anyone was or anything. I didn't know my way around. I had left my mum and my sister because I was running away from telling them who I was. I had hardly enough money to live on because I couldn't get a job with Emily. I only had her to talk to. There was nothing wrong with that. Beats talking to the wall. Then the landlord said he wanted more rent. I didn't know how I could do that. Sean suggested moving in with him because you had just moved out and we could rent the two rooms. It would make up mum's money and save me living in that dingy place. That was when I met your mum. She was so kind and welcoming . She was lovely to Sean and she was just as nice to me, even though she didn't really know me. She was lovely to Emily too. When we moved in, it was a bit like an advert where it's winter and then with the room freshener all the spring flowers come out. It was just like that moving in here because of her. She made me feel a part of the household. She suggested looking after Emily sometimes so that I could go to the pub for a pint or go to the shop. Then she suggested I applied for a job, only locally, so that I could get out and earn a few pennies. She gave me confidence to hold my head up and be me again. She took me as I was but she made me someone else, someone bigger, better, braver. I'm doing my masters now. I am a married man. I am back on good terms with my own mum and sister. It's all down to her and I love her so much. She created this world for me. Almost a dream world. Within her bubble of protection. If I leave it, the bubble might burst. I might be all alone again in the dark, all alone with nothing, all alone not knowing who I am or where I'm going. I can't risk that again.I don't want to go back to that. I can't go back to that. I've come a long way." The tears began to fall again.  
  
"But you will know who you are. You will chose a place you like. You won't be on your own. You will be with Sean."  
That really opened the floodgates and Scott began to sob. Todd was confused.  
"So you don't want to live with Sean. But you married him. Was that a mistake?"  
"No. I love Sean. I want to be with him for ever." Scott said through his sobs.  
"So what has changed?" Todd asked.  
"Nothing! "  
Todd sighed.  
"You don't understand" he said.  
"You are so right!" said Todd."I don't understand. You need to explain to me. "  
"I can't "Scott sobbed.  
Scott really did try the deep breaths but it didn't work. He shuddered with the constant tears and Todd sighed.  
"Oh come on love."he said very gently." You need to do this! Tell me about Sean . You aren't in love with him are you. What was the wedding alll about? "  
"Sean is all I've got. He was my first boyfriend. I fell for him straight away. He's kind, thoughtful, funny. He would do anything for me. He is lovely with Emily. He showed me the way out of my darkness. I owe it all to him." Scott said quietly.  
"Is that enough?" Todd asked.  
"Isnt it enough? It's got to be." Scott said.  
"Do you have regrets about it?"Todd asked quietly. Scott shook his head.  
" You aren't very convincing. "Scott looked at Todd, his lip quivering,still shaking his head. Todd put his hand on the side of Scott's face and ruffled his hair with his thumb.  
"I can't stand seeing you like this." he said." I must know what's causing it and help you to sort it."Scott rubbed his face on Todd's hand, brushing it with his lips. "So,"Todd plodded on."Whatever this is, it's to do with Sean. Is it something he has or hasn't done?" A further headshake. "Scott you really need to do this. I can tell. I am not going to be sitting here when Sean comes home so if it's not sorted by then, you are on your own" Scott's eyes once again filled with tears and he desperately tried to control them, his lips still quivering, his eyes on Todd.  
"Ok. I'll try." he said in a small shaky voice.  
  
"I do love Sean . Like I said, he saved me from a dark place and I owe him for ever . That's the best way to pay him back. He wants a forever partner. I can be that partner. While I'm here I'm a part of a lovely big supportive family network. If I leave here, ....." Scott swallowed, followed by a further swallow as he had to try even harder to control himself.  
"So you aren't in love with him. I really thought you were."  
Scott nodded."So did I "he said in a heavily broken voice"until he said about......"  
"Do you feel he won't support you? " Todd asked.Scott swallowed again.  
"He..He is always there for me. He is the one with the jobs bringing in the cash. He is older than me. He's been around more. He is traditional, old fashioned in many ways. Doesn't all that suggest support?"  
"At first glance, yes." Todd agreed, "but I'm still missing something. What am I missing? What have you left out? It must be obvious by now but I still.....Another kind of support? What else is there? In bed? Is the problem in bed?"  
"Don't know any different" Scott said softly.  
"I wish you would just tell me!"  
Scott took an obvious deep breath.  
" I want someone to be there for me. Always there to look after me. Thinking for me. Saving me from making decisions. In charge of everything. A solid rock. A father figure I've never really had . Having Emmie on my own made me have to grow up fast. I didn't want to ! I wanted to stay carefree. I know I got married but she was my mate. We were still out for a good time - well I was! I want someone to put their arms around me and say" There there. I want to be a boy still. I don't want responsibility. I don't want to be grown up. I don't want a house to be responsible for. I don't want to look after a new baby. I want to be selfish. I just want to be me. I want to stop the world and get off for a while. I want to run away from it all. I just want to be ..... to be.."The tears flowed, slowly at first but there were more to come.  
Todd opened his arms.  
"Come here!" he said, wrapping his arms round him, smoothing his hair and rocking him, kissing the top of his head. A moment later, his phone buzzed and he read a text from his mum who could still hear crying upstairs. She was asking if there was any progress. He replied "Some". She told him that he must have feelings of steel to deal with this. It had been so long. Todd suddenly realised that his mum should be at work. He apologized but she said she had claimed a day off as she was due plenty of them. She added that her main concern was Emily who understood her Dada was sad and she wanted to know why but Eileen had no answer for her. Todd told her he had no suggestions on that one. He put the phone away and returned to rocking Scott, who was slowly getting more calm. Todd was desperately trying to think what should happen next. Scott pulled himself away from Todd's arms.  
"Why can't Sean be like Billy!" Scott said." He is a solid rock. So stable. So wise. So supportive and understanding. So mature. " Todd was a bit surprised at this. He hadn't thought that Scott carried a candle for Billy.  
"You are after Billy?" he asked. Scott looked shocked.  
"No!' he said. "Of course not. But I can't help thinking how lucky you are having him. So now you know. You didn't realise what a prat I was did you. "Scott said, looking down.  
  
"Of course you're not. This is a reaction to all you went through coming out. That's all it is. You were vulnerable and lonely. You had run away from your support system because you were ashamed or at least couldn't face telling them. You grew up overnight and set off with a baby into a totally unknown place to try to start again where no one knew you. No job, no home, nothing to offer your baby . You did all that with no one to help you in a new world you hadn't come to terms with and couldn't understand. You are amazing,mate. The self control that took, the bravery, the determination. I know unfortunately in this sad, bitter world it's something every gay has to go through,. It is not easy. In fact there is no word to describe it. I've been there haven't I, so I know what it's like. I had to take myself away too to find myself, but I didn't have a baby in tow. I got in with a right tosser, who I thought was the bees knees. He made me ashamed of my roots, embarrassed about my mother and her home. I was horrible. Then I decided that everyone was against me and I had no support from anywhere so then I went through bastard stage. I hurt mum and Jason so much I'm lucky they even pass the time of day with me. Then I calmed down a bit but I was still out for all I could get, until the day Billy told me he had fallen for me. I was nasty to him. He confessed that he cared for me and I told him to get out. I was so desperate not to hurt Sean, but of course in the end I did anyway , but then I actually realised that I had the same feelings for Billy and I told him. He finished with Sean and , well, you know the rest. "  
"You don't think badly of me? You aren't ashamed of me? "  
"Ashamed of you? God no. Of course not. I'm relieved that we seem to have reached the source of the problem. I've been worried sick.about you, as is mum and Emmie. But my next question. Is there anything else, apart from what you have told me? If there is more, now would be a good time to say."  
"More? Isn't that enough?" Scott asked.  
"I swear to you, on on your life, that there is no more. You know it all. "  
"Ok. On my life?"  
  
Scott was totally embarrassed, avoiding eye contact , saying nothing.  
" Why would you say on m......Are you serious? I mean that much to you?"  
Scott whispered. "You know you do. Why the shock?"  
"I...Todd's restrain went straight out the window. He gently put his thumb and forefinger on Scott's chin and drew towards him to place a kiss on his lips. Scott put his hands on each cheek and deepened the kiss. They then couldn't get enough of each other.Todd explored under Scott's T shirt before removing it and attacking his nipples. Scott then did the same to Todd, following the same pursuit.  
Todd found his hand in Scott's lap so he broke the kiss, panting.  
"Yes or no ?" he asked . Scott resumed the kiss and Todd's fingers moved inside . Todd pushed Scott gently back on to the sofa and slotted in beside him, maintaining the kiss until he planted featherlight kisses down to his naval. He then moved in with hand and tongue before taking Scott in his mouth. Scott closed his eyes and breathed deeply as Todd worked gently and caringly. Scott caressed Todd's hair . Nothing was rushed and everything reflected deep love. Todd quickened the pace and Scott moved with his rhythm. Scott's breathing was more laboured as he grabbed Todd's shoulders and he came partly in Todd's mouth and partly on his chest as Todd withdrew. Todd immediately returned to kissing Scott, sharing the contents of his mouth and brushing back Scott's long dark hair which was clinging to his face. They both closed their eyes as Scott whispered ,"Do you want me to..."  
" No,." Todd replied, " but I thought you needed it. "  
"It was beautiful" Scott whispered.  
"Yes it was. It was meant to be" Todd whispered back. "I wanted to show you that I love you."  
"You did" Scott replied. "No doubt about that,"  
  
"You need to go and sort yourself out. We still have a problem which has only been shared, not solved and I must not be here when Sean gets home."  
Scott put his hand on the side of Todd's face and leaned over for a further deep loving kiss, before heading to the shower. Todd put his T shirt back on and went to fill the kettle.  
  
Scott returned after his shower and Todd made the tea, bringing the two mugs over to the sofa.  
"Am I still allowed to sit with you?" Scott asked Todd. "What does that mean?"Todd asked.  
"Have I used up all my credit or can I still hug you?"  
Todd sighed and sat down with his mug in one hand and the other arm out so that Scott could move in beside him. Scott rested his head on Todd's chest. They both sipped the tea.  
"Right. To get back to the issue in hand, what can be put in place to help sort this situation." Todd said.  
"I don't know ."Scott replied. " I don't think I'm going to be taking a sabbatical and disappearing for a year."  
"I don't think we can run to that"Todd said. " but there must be no baby at the moment and no moving out. It would probably be good to sort the bedroom for Emily though to give you and Sean some privacy and also to give her her own space. You don't need to find a place of your own. Anyway, you still depend on mum to look after Emmie. You can't give up the job and you've got your studying to do. And mum would miss out on the cash you pay and her house would be empty and she would be so lonely.I don't know how you are going to get Sean to be more of your rock though. I can't quite put rock and Sean in the same sentence!"  
"You've sorted it for me. Thank you." Scott smiled at Todd.  
" The only thing left to sort is what you are going to tell Sean. " Todd shared.  
"I don't have to tell him." Scott suggested.  
"Excuse me. Not an option. He has to know you had a meltdown and why and he needs to know bits of your problem even if you don't tell him details about himself. Mum needs to know too because for a start she has taken a day's holiday to look after Emily, so she could do with an explanation and anyway, she will be up to scratch then if i this comes over you again - and I think it will. And she is most likely the one who will be around. " "Oh" said Scott.  
"I think she should come up now. Emmie needs to come home. "Todd suggested. Scott nodded and Todd text his mum that the kettle had boiled and Emily can come home now. He then waited for an "ok" ,before refilling the kettle.  
  
As soon as she was lifted over the gate by Todd, Emily walked slowly over to her Dada. Scott held his arms out to her and she climbed into his lap as he hugged her, kissing the top of her head. Eileen climbed over the gate and watched .Todd made the three brews and a drink for Emily. Instead of sitting in the middle of the sofa as usual, Eileen made for the opposite end from Scott with a space for Todd in the middle. Scott continued to hug Emily with her arms around his neck. She moved back a bit and put her hand on Scott's damp cheek. "Dada is still sad,"she observed sounding very sad herself.  
" I'm not sad now sweet," he said, smiling at her. "Just a few more things to sort out and I'll be fine. Uncle Todd is sorting me out. We are going to talk to granny now. Uncle Todd has a drink for you, look and you know where the biscuits are. You can have three. Ok?" "Ok!" she said, kissing Scott who hugged her again before releasing her. She went straight to the biscuits on the unit and started trying to undo the lid. Todd opened it for her handing her her drink . " Thank you " she said. "Good girl " Todd said. He then took the mugs to the sofa and handed them out, sitting in the middle. "Are you ok?" he asked his mum.  
"I'm fine love. " she replied."How are things with you two?"  
"Yeah, we're ok. Lots of follow up to do now though." Todd told her.  
"Oh. I see. " Eileen said.  
"How do you want to play this?" he asked Scott. Scott half looked at him and shrugged. Todd thought. "Right. We're going over to the table so we can hear each other. We're going to get mum up to speed." Scott gasped and he started shaking his head desperately. He looked pleadingly at Todd.  
"No!" Don't do this to me!" he said. "You know how cruel that is!" His voice cracked as he spoke.  
"Todd leaned over and put his hand on Scott's face. He spoke quietly.  
"It's got to be done. I don't mind doing the talking but mum needs to know. Ok?" Scott paused and then nodded. Todd kissed his cheek and stood up. He then offered Scott his hand which Scott uncomfortably took and stood up. Todd put his arm round Scott's shoulders as they set off towards the table.  
  
"Mum? Are you joining us" Todd asked.  
"Oh. I didn't realise I was meant to be." she replied. "You are indeed." Todd said, steering Scott to a chair and sitting beside him. Todd waited for Eileen to join them. Scott leaned on the table, head in hands. Eileen gave him a very anxious look.  
  
" I will probably be doing most of the talking , mum " Todd said."This is heavy stuff."  
"Does Scott really want to share it?""Eileen asked.  
"No he doesn't " Todd stated "but he has no choice and he knows that."  
"No choice?"  
"He needs to share it with you and with Sean, but I don't know how he is going to do that. I'm hoping not to be involved. It won't end well if I am."  
"No?"Eileen queried.  
" I can't be this close to him if Sean is here. Anyway, I need to share it with you. This has to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do." Just at that moment a message came through on Todd's phone . He frowned at it and read the text.  
"Oh God . Billy has just called in to the shop and I'm not there. Tracy said there's a domestic crisis and was surprised he didn't know. Shit! Scott, Billy is going to have to hear it too. He's going to have to come over. Evie can play with Emily. "Scott took his hands down and looked wide eyed at Todd." I would have told him when I got home anyway. It will be ok. Please don't look like that. I'll just let them in." He stood up, squeezing Scott's shoulders and kissing his cheek before heading to the door, texting as he walked.  
  
Scott's hands were on the table and Eileen took them in hers.  
"I hope you're ok love. You really worried me this morning. I didn't know what to do so I asked Todd to come. Has he made everything into a drama for you ? I hope he hasn't."  
Scott replied almost in a whisper, his voice broken and tense. "He's been brilliant mum. I'm so glad you called him. I wouldn't have coped.on my own. "  
"Ah I did the right thing then. I'm glad about that." she replied, very relieved.  
Todd returned, lifting Evie over the gate.  
"Emmie, look who's come to play with you!" he said.  
Emily beamed at Evie and put her arms up to receive her when Todd put her down. She hugged her and then noticed Billy and put her arms up again,.receiving a hug back from him."  
"Come over to the table." Todd told Billy. You haven't missed anything.  
"I think I have" corrected Billy. "Apart from a family crisis which took you away from work, I have no idea."  
"I'm sorry I didn't text you but I haven't really had chance." Todd explained. He then looked at Scott whose hands were still on the table. He took one hand in his and checked finally that he was ok. Receiving a small nod, he began.  
  
"I'll start right at the beginning now" he said. He took a deep breath.  
" Sean has been talking to Scott about having another child, so that it is close enough in age for it and Emily to be company for each other. He mentioned that they would have to talk to mum about sorting out the other bedroom for Emily. The alternative would be to get a flat."Scott shuddered noticeably and Todd looked at him and squeezed his hand. He whispered ok in his ear and he nodded, so he continued. "He had a full blown panic attack, several even, one after the other. He couldn't shift it. By the time mum came up he was pretty unwell with it but he went to work anyway. Mum didn't think he should have done. "  
"I didn't . He didn't seem to know if he were coming or going."  
"No he didn't. He probably shouldn't have gone . The thing which was causing him so much stress was that he couldn't make any sense of it. Every time he went back over it, all that he could connect to was Sean saying they could move out of here and get a flat."  
Again Scott shuddered.Todd squeezed his hand , saying " it's still happening."Scott removed his hand and stood up. The tears had begun to fall.  
"Please ! I can't do this. You just tell them. I don't need to be here. I'm begging you Todd!"  
"I just wanted you to know what I said to them ."Todd said, also standing up.  
"But I trust you.With my life! Why would I have a problem with you doing this without my being here?" Scott asked, the tears now flowing fast. "Look at me, for Christ's sake. What is the point? What are you trying to do to me? You got me past all this. Now I'm back to square one!" He sat down on the floor in a heap, shaking with sobs. Todd didn't know what to do. Should he sort Scott or continue talking. He crouched down and put his hands on Scott's shoulders. "I'm going to carry on and tell them." he said. "I'm going to have to leave you here." He kissed the top of Scott's head and sat down at the table,tears in his own eyes.  
  
"I think I got this wrong " he said." He's right. I have put him back to square one." A few tears fell." I'm going to carry on and tell you. He knew what was starting his problem but he couldn't work out why. It was when we went over and over it that we worked it out. It's harder to explain to you than I thought it would be. Basically he has had a meltdown linked to his coming out. He was in that flat on his own with a baby, no friends, no money, no real contact with family. He had no one to turn to, no one to help. It was the worst time of his life and he was trying to do this by himself. Then he met Sean. Sean guided him out of the pit and he fell for him because he brought him back from the black hole he was in. Then Sean asked if he wanted to move in here and everything thing changed. Because of you, mum. The way he tells it, it's like on an advert when a place is all grey and lifeless and they come along with febreeze and all the flowers and trees come to life and the place is transformed. That's what you did for him mum and he adores you because of it. You are his rock, his stability , his everything. If he left here, it would take him away from you and he couldn't survive without you being there for him"  
Eileen had tears in her eyes. "I love him to bits, but I had no idea that I was actually important to him" she said.  
"Oh you are mum, I promise you. This is the potted version, don't forget. Moving away from here would be like going back to that lonely cold flat, back into the depression and lost feeling. He can't cope with even the thought. I said it wouldn't be that flat and he would never lose your support and anyway he wouldn't be on his own because he would be with Sean. Floods of tears again. I asked him if he loved Sean. "  
"Todd!"Scott howled. Todd continued. "I asked his feelings for Sean. "  
  
Scott scrambled to his feet and wrapped himself around Todd's neck. "Dont Todd, please. This is too much!" Billy interjected. "This isn't right Todd. You are sharing very personal stuff here . Think how you would feel" "I'm not telling you everything!" Todd said. "I'm only telling you the important parts. This is important. Well, I thought it was. I'm explaining why it didn't matter that Sean would be with him. He would still feel alone and vulnerable. He feels he needs someone strong like a father figure to support him out there and Sean doesn't fit that part.  
"Are you about to tell me he needs you?"Billy asked.  
"No Bill, that is not what I'm about to say. If you must know the example given was you. He needs someone like you. Thats how he sees you!"  
Todd put his hands on Scott's arms which were still clinging round his neck.  
"He has Sean. He is not going to be able to support him. He is not a rock that can make him feel secure. He ..He has to run with this because he is married to him and he expects that to be a forever marriage. So he has to come to terms with what happened when he came to Wearherfield so that at some point he will feel safe enough to move out from the family network but at the moment there must be no talk of.......Scott I'm going through the list . No talk of babies or moving into a flat. " Scott tried to bury himself in Todd. Todd raised his hand and covered Scott's ear which was not buried in Todd's neck. "As little responsibility as possible. He really needs a total break away from all the pressures but he can't do that . He needs a break from Emm and he needs a break from Sean. " Todd had an idea. "Scott, what if mum helped Sean to look after Emmie and you went down to stay with mum and Jess for a week? Have a total break. Maybe that would be a bit of a help. " Todd said.  
"All on his own? You will no doubt want to go too." Billy said. Todd shook his head.  
"That can't happen. "he said softly.  
"Cant get time off?" Billy suggested .  
" No Bill. It's not that" Todd's words were barely audible ." I couldn't trust myself "  
" What? What was that? Trust? What do you mean?"Billy asked.Now it was Todd's turn to cringe.  
."It just wouldn't work,.Bill," Todd stated. Billy was about to continue so Eileen decided to have a go.  
"I think he's telling you they would be too close for comfort, love" she said.  
"Close? But...."  
"Shit, Billy. For God's sake! " Todd's hand left Scott's ear. "I would want to spend most of the week in bed! Got it?" Todd unwrapped Scott from his neck and gently stood up. He walked slightly away from the table, his back to everyone. Scott looked confused, as did Billy. Eileen felt Todd's embarrassment. Todd rubbed his face with his hands, took a deep breath and turned back to the group. "I'm sorry."he said. "I'm just soooo tired. It's been a hard day."  
"Has it?" Billy said. " You haven't even been at work!"  
Todd and Eileen both looked at Billy, gob smacked.  
"Billy, come on."she said. "Whats all this about? I can vouch for the hard day. I couldn't have done it!"  
"Couldn't have done what? I...."  
"Right! "Todd shouted. " This is how it is! Imagine spending hour after hour listening to someone you love crying their eyes out, not knowing why and having to analyse it all to try to make sense of it and explain to them. And then try to make a plan of action of how to carry on past it. Can you imagine that Billy?"  
"Todd, this isn't going to help love."Eileen said.  
Todd banged his hand on the table and Billy jumped. "It's what you get paid to do so you know the situation and you know it can be bloody hard to cope with it. But, the people you deal with are usually strangers , not someone you love to bits. How do you think I have felt trying to get all this personal stuff... Do you remember when you came out Billy? Share it with us. Sit down Scott. We will listen to Billy." Todd sat back down at the table. "Scott come on. Sit down."Scott sat back down. "So , come on then! How does it go?"  
Billy looked at Todd, totally bewildered.  
"I think I have totally pissed you off for you to be talking to me like this, so I'm sorry "Billy said softly."I don't know what I've done. I haven't upset you intentionally, but you should know that!"  
  
Eileen squeezed Billy's arm.  
"Billy, how about we go downstairs and have a brew. We can take the girls down with us and give Todd five minutes to sort himself out up here? Would that be an idea?"  
"Do you know what's going on then?" Billy asked Eileen. "Yes I do but it's not going to be fixed arguing round this table. I suggest you come downstairs with me and let Todd sort himself out. "Eileen stood up.  
"Come on, "she said." You can take Evie"  
Billy looked at Todd. "If I have done something wrong you will have to tell me. I'm not looking for an argument I promise you." Billy stood up and kissed Todd's forehead before heading over to pick up Evie. Eileen followed him without looking at either Todd or Scott. They chatted to the girls and Eileen asked Emily to pick up toys she and Evie could play with and headed for the gate. She climbed over and waited to lift Emily over . Billy silently picked up Evie and hugged her as Eileen organised Emily. Todd looked over and realised he had upset him but he stopped watching him and stared at the table. Once all four had taken to the stairs, he turned to Scott who was watching him with a worried look.  
  
"I don't know what's going on." he said. "If I've done something to upset you and Billy,I'm..." He stopped as Todd leaned over to him, his hand on his cheek, using the other hand to draw him closer. He closed his eyes and kissed him. He then got up and sat himself across Scott's lap, one arm lightly round his shoulder and the other hand on his cheek whilst he continued the kisses. Scott put his arms round him. Todd began rubbing himself, causing him to be moving. Scott opened his eyes and realising what was happening, moved Todd's hand away. Scott reached inside for Todd.  
"Just your hand " he whispered in to the kiss. He fumbled with his shirt buttons and Scott helped him to undo them, leaving the shirt on.The kisses continued as Scott worked on Todd. Todd's breathing and kissing intensified. He shuddered and held his breath, eyes tightly closed as Scott concluded his task, having grabbed Todd's T shirt up out of the way. He held it in place and moved down to clean Todd's chest with his tongue. Todd fondled Scott's hair gently. Having completed his task, Scott removed Todd's shirt and lifted the T shirt over his head. "He then ran his fingers through Todd's hair before kissing him. Todd put his hand on Scott's neck and intensified the kisses. It was Scott who broke the kisses.  
"No, "whispered Todd and tried to continue but Scott put his hand gently on Todd's mouth.  
"You need to go into the bathroom,.use the green face cloth and some soap,but not too much and scrub your chest. Then you come back here for your T shirt and shirt- and you need to be quick and quiet."  
"I love you so much" Todd whispered. "I'm sorry. I couldn't stand it any longer. I will get it under control but it's been..."  
"A hard day. Yes it has . Now go to the bathroom or it will get harder.!"  
Todd grinned at that, but Scott was determined.  
"God you don't need anyone to be strong for you! You're like an ox!"  
  
Todd got off Scott's lap and tiptoed to the bathroom. When he returned he took his T shirt and then shirt from Scott and was then ready to go down stairs. He stopped once more to talk to Scott.  
" You do know what was wrong round the table, don't you ?".He said.  
"I have no idea "Scott said "but I think mum did."  
"Oh yes she did . That's why she diffused it"  
Todd kissed his cheek and climbed over the gate to go downstairs, followed by Scott. "

Billy and Eileen were chatting generally and watching the girls when Todd walked in to the sitting room, followed by Scott. Eileen looked over at them.  
" Would you like a brew ?".she asked. "We have finished ours. Would you like another, Billy? I don't think I need one at the moment "  
"I'm ok thanks mum" Billy said,.so Eileen set off to the kitchen. Todd followed her as she filled the kettle. He stood beside her leaning against the sink, facing in towards the sitting room. He knew what was coming. Eileen remained facing the kettle and spoke quietly.  
"You're going to have to sort this,.Todd. God knows how, but it needs sorting. Soon!"  
"I know. Thanks for diffusing the situation. I was sinking fast " he said, smiling at her for the benefit of those in the room.  
"I know you were. It.was like electric round that table. I can't imagine what would have happened had I not got Billy out of it. The sparks were bounding all round it. "  
"I don't think Billy knew that. Scott doesn't "Todd said.  
Eileen sighed as she poured the water on to the tea bags.  
"I'll be waiting for you at lunch time tomorrow" she said. "Just you and me. Come in quietly because I don't want Scott to know you're here. You presumably need time to talk to him too to know how to move him forward but that's not what I want to talk about."  
"No I know."Todd said. "I'll be here. "  
"Good. Now smile. You will have to sort things out with Billy when you get home."  
"At least he doesn't know what was going on." Todd said.  
"Well no" Eileen said,."but I think you will find your usual way of sorting things will be put off bounds tonight. You've already used up today's supply and I can't see you are going to swap fast enough to be convincing "  
"Mum, your perception of my situation is way beyond where it should be!"  
"Unfortunately for me, lucky for you . At least now you're down here it won't surprise Sean to find you here. He will be home in A couple minutes. As long as Billy doesn't drop you in it!"  
With that the front door opened and Sean appeared in the doorway  
"Oh.what's this? A tea party?" he asked.  
"Yes".said Eileen. I've just boiled the kettle so it won't be a minute.  
"Ok. Thanks" Sean said, coming over to Scott for a hug.  
"You're looking tired."he said. "Are you still feeling unwell?"  
"I'm not 100 per cent " he said "So if you don't mind, I'm going to.go to bed once Emily is in. I haven't done any tea either. I've just realised that."  
"Whats everyone else having?"he asked. "I'll go over to.the takeaway for everyone if you like. Billy looked at Todd ". I don't want to start cooking when we get back " he said.  
"Sorted then. Takeaway all round."Sean said. "I'll go over but I need some help carrying and maybe a top up of the old coffers too"  
"Pass my.bag,please Todd. It's over by the chair." Eileen gave Sean some money. "I'll come with you,"Todd said and they left.  
Scott got down on the floor to play with the two girls and Eileen passed Billy the remote to find something on the TV. She went to the kitchen to collect plates.  
"Scott,"Billy said,"if I've upset you in any way, I.apologize. It wasn't intentional."  
"You haven't."Scott replied."I expect I've looked a major prat today though and I'm sorry about that."  
"You haven't ."Billy said.," I don't think I've followed it all properly, but if you are dealing with a backwash from coming out, then that's a huge thing and well done for coping so well. So far I'm guessing it's not done and dusted yet"  
"Nothing like it" Scott agreed. "But I've still to try to explain it to Sean. I don't know how. God, I don't know where I would start!"  
"Maybe you need Todd to tell him ."He suggested.  
"He has already told me I must do this one myself,; he said.  
At that moment, Sean and Todd returned with the food which Eileen dished out. As soon the meal was finished, Scott went straight to the kitchen to do the dishes and Eileen brought out the last few items.  
"Thanks again for today mum" Scott said as she came in. "I really wouldn't have coped without him. Thank you for being there for me too. He told you how important you are to me and he wasn't exaggerating."  
"I love you as though you were my own son" she said, "but I'm happy to share with Marilyn. "They both smiled and hugged.  
"I'm going to hurry Sean up." he said. "I want to go to bed . I'm shattered."  
"Like you said, it's been a hard day" she said.  
Scott said his goodbyes to everyone as Sean said for him to carry on. He would see to Emily. He knelt down by his daughter and hugged her, telling her he was off to bed before her because he was so tired.  
"Are you still sad Dada?" she asked and he assured her he was feeling much better. He asked Evie for a hug and she toddled over to him. He then left the room as Todd and Billy agreed it was time to go. Todd assured Billy he also intended to go straight to bed as soon as they got home but he would sort Evie out first. Billy convinced him that he would be quite happy to sort out Evie, so they said goodnight to Eileen and sorted Evie in to the pram. Eileen herself wasn't sorry to have an early night. She too felt that she had had a busy day. She got into bed ready for a long sleep only to be bombarded by thoughts from the day. She sadly had very little sleep after all that night!

Eileen spent the morning quietly with her daytime TV. She saw no sign of Scott who she presumed was upstairs with Emily. At 12.30, she made two lots of sandwiches and put a tea bag in each mug awaiting Todd's arrival. When her phone pinged and Todd's name came up, she was expecting cancellation so she put on a face to match. When she read the message, she was relieved. He was asking her to open the door so he need not use his key. Scott would be sure to hear it. It was Todd's arrival trade mark. Eileen silently undid the door and returned to the kitchen . A few minutes later Todd was by the table. Eileen jumped, having not heard him at all.  
" What was that for?".he asked. "You asked me to come in quietly.-"  
" Well true"she said, bringing the meal to the table. They both sat down.  
"Right then.,",Todd said."What are you thinking should happen?"  
"Why are you asking me? It's your decision" she replied. "Because I know you have an opinion and I probably won't agree with it so we might as well get that over first. "Todd said. "You've probably given almost as much thought to this as I have."  
"I had all night, more or less "Eileen replied."I don't think I slept a wink."  
"Oh. Sorry,"said Todd.  
"Yesterday was horrendous."Eileen said. "The atmosphere at that table was just awful. I would have thought Billy was good at picking up things like that."  
"He didn't."Todd said.  
"No, luckily"Eileen stated."How are you going to control this then? Any ideas?  
Todd shrugs.  
"Thats not particularly helpful love." Eileen stated. "If I hadn't removed Billy from the scene yesterday, what do you think would have happened next"  
"I don't know.Todd admitted. "I was losing it. Billy was infuriating me and I was so taken up with Scott's meltdown. I didn't want to be in the same room as Billy because he was encroaching into my space with Scott and I felt that he shouldn't be there. Which obviously wasn't the case. He is always entitled to be there. He IS my husband."  
"Tell me honestly how you feel about Billy. No text book he's my husband crap" Eileen said." Your real feelings." Todd sighed and shook his head.  
"Head shaking does not count!"  
"Mum,..."  
"What are your feelings? I'm sure you love him but are you still in love with him?"  
Todd really concentrated for a moment.  
"I am. Yes I adore him. He's everything to me. He is my world. All the things I said about him when we first got together. They are all still true. I promise you. On Evie's life. I am still in love with him. Nothing has changed ."  
"And you're sure about that?"  
"Cross my heart. He is still my world. But...."  
"Ok, what's the but for?"  
"Scott. How can I honestly say that and truly mean it when I have to admit I adore Scott. Its not just love. It is so much more. How can that be?"  
"How could you describe your feelings?"  
"I can't . If I didn't already know I was in love with Billy I would suspect I was in love with him. My stomach churns when he walks in the room. A real teenage crush but so, so much more. When he was in such a state I felt ill because I could feel the pain."  
"I suppose it's possible to love two people at the same time. If the two were standing side by side in front of you and l told you to kiss one of them as they stand there, not thinking of history, which one would you kiss?"  
"Mum, I would run. I couldn't do that. I just couldn't do it"  
"What does that tell you?"  
"I don't know. What does it tell you ?"  
"I'm buggered if I know" Eileen said. Why couldn't you pick one?"  
"Because if I picked one, the other would be sad. And I can't make one of them sad. That would hurt me. A lot! "Todd said, adding softly, "I couldn't bear it."  
"You wouldn't be able to choose between them. "Eileen repeated thoughtfully. "Do you know how it sounds to me? It sounds like you're in love with Scott."  
Todd gasped. "Don't say that! You're not meant to say that! Is that being helpful?"  
"Keep calm" Eileen said" If you get excited you will be noisy and he will hear!"  
"Sorry."  
" You 've come to the same conclusion I believe. " Eileen said.  
Todd hung his head. "I thought so." she added.  
"You can't be in love with two people at the same time. It's not ethical!"  
"And he's in love with you isn't he. He has told you he isn't in love with Sean hasn't he?"  
Todd nodded .  
"He feels he owes him a lot because of how it was when he came out and he brought him here to you, so the only way to pay him back is to be life long partner, the one thing Sean really wants. He loves him loads."  
"But he isn't in love with him. Has he told you he's in love with you?" Eileen asked.  
"No"  
"You think he is though don't you" she said.  
"I haven't thought about it" Todd said honestly.  
,"You haven't allowed yourself to think about it."  
"No.I haven't . I thought that would make everything worse" Todd explained.  
"How far has the relationship gone?" Eileen asked  
Todd looked at her. "Well don't hold back mum!" he said. "Eileen raised her eyebrows.  
"No. You're wrong. We haven't been all the way." he clarified.  
"But you could've yesterday" Eileen observed.  
"You're playing with my head, mum!" Todd rubbed his face with his hands.  
"You so wanted him yesterday. You got so worked up by it all"she said.  
"No! Don't say that!" he shouted "I'm trying really hard here mum. I have to fight it!"  
Almost immediately there was someone in the doorway. "Oh god" said Todd.covering up his face. Scott came over to the table and put his hand on Todd's shoulder. "What's up?" he asked. "Are you ok? I didn't hear you come in."  
"You weren't meant to" muttered Todd through his hands.  
Scott removed his hand.  
"Oh." He said, obviously taken aback by the tone "I'm sorry. I'll go back upstairs."  
"No!" Said Eileen as he turned to go. " Come and sit down love. I'll make you a quick brew . As long as Emmie is ok."  
"She's fine . She's just playing with her toys.I've tried going into the bedroom for a while recently just to get her used to being on her own and gradually made the times longer. Otherwise I'm in the same room with her all day and I feel if we had more rooms she would have more space to be on her own sometimes. I don't want her to be clingy when she goes to pre school."  
Eileen nodded her approval and headed towards the kettle as Scott sat down.  
"I'm having a hot one, Todd. Do you want one?"  
Todd didn't reply.  
"Take that as a no then" she said. Scott couldn't take his eyes off Todd. He was very concerned about him.  
"Todd?" he said quietly. Todd didn't move. He continued to just look at him in a very concerned way but made no further attempt to communicate.  
"Todd put your hands down!" Eileen said returning with three mugs." Did you a fresh one anyway" she put the mugs on the table and sat down. "Todd!"  
Todd took his hands down and laid them on the table in front of him, tightly clasped. His eyes were on them, ignoring everything in the room.  
" You could do with speaking, Todd, "Eileen said.  
  
"Silence is not golden despite what they say - and anyway, if you don't speak, I will!"  
Scott's eyes were still only for Todd.  
"The reason you didn't hear him come in was because I knew he was coming and I opened the door for him so that you wouldn't hear the key turn. I wanted to talk to him on his own to talk through a situation."  
"Oh right. You didn't want me to be here. I'm sorry. I heard him shout and I wanted to know everything was ok. I will just have my tea and go. That will be long enough to leave Emmie anyway." He began sipping the hot brew  
. " Final warning, Todd!" His mum said. Todd raised his eyes to look at Eileen. Scott was trying not to scald himself drinking back the hot tea. He couldn't wait to get out of the room and was relieved to have Emily as an excuse to be in a hurry. He had no idea what he had walked into but he couldn't get out fast enough.  
Todd looked at Scott who was now trying not to look at Todd.  
"I'm in love. "He said, bringing Scott's attention straight back into the room.  
"Ok."Scott said hesitantly. " I know you are. To Billy. Your husband."  
"Thats not all" Todd said, looking back at his hands.  
" I'm in love with two people and I don't know how that can even happen. " Todd replied.  
Scott looked at Todd and then at Eileen, who raised her eyebrows. He looked back again at Todd, puzzled.  
"I er don't know what you're saying Todd."He said. Todd looked at Scott, tears forming in his eyes.  
"I'm trying to tell you that I've been trying to sort my head out. I realised upstairs yesterday that I can't stand having you and Billy in the same room. My head was about to explode which is why mum removed Billy from the scene. She could tell what was happening. That's why I'm here now.She told me I must come and talk through it so that I could make some sense of it. And the only thing I can come up with which makes any sense at all is that I'm talking about love. I am actually talking about being IN love. With two people. I am still in love with Billy, as much as I was when I first told him. That hasn't changed. What has changed is that I feel exactly the same way about you. I'm in love with you Scott and I'm sorry because all I have are empty promises. I wouldn't consider leaving Billy because I'm still in love with him. But that has to be the only way I can describe how I feel about you. I'm in love with you and I don't know how I'm going to carry on knowing you're just down the road and I can't have you. " The tears began to fall as he just looked at Scott, his soul bared before him, overflowing in love. "I know there's nothing you can say, but, can you spare me a kiss? please?"  
Scott instantly stretched his arms across the table to Todd who fell into them. They then began to kiss passionately. Eileen with a subtle cough got up and took the mugs to the kitchen. She then came quietly back through the sitting room heading upstairs with Emily. Todd broke the kiss and left his hand on Scott's cheek, stroking around the contours of his chin with his thumb. "I'm so sorry."he said. "I wish things were different. What an impossible situation."  
"But a beautiful situation."Scott replied. " You know I intend to stay with Sean for life if I can, so I am tied too. I can't act on this either, no matter how I feel about it."  
"And how do you feel about it?" Todd dared to ask.  
"You know the answer to that!" Scott replied. "I feel the same way you do." Todd instigated a further kiss before telling Scott he must go back to work. Before he moved, Scott could see that there was something on Todd's mind, so he asked him what it was.  
"When I get home, I will have to tell Billy." he said.  
"I may not have a home by the end of today!"  
With that, he kissed the top of Scott's head and got up. As he reached the front door he shouted goodbye up to his mum and left. Scott nipped up the stairs to talk to Eileen.  
Eileen made another brew and they both sat on the sofa. There was silence,for a time before Eileen asked Scott what he was thinking.  
"That Todd is in love with me and I'm in love with him." Scott told her."And how bloody unfair that is!" Eileen patted Scott's arm in understanding and they continued with their tea, casually drifting in to the children's programme on Emily's TV.  
  
It was a horrendously long day, but finally Todd locked up the florest's and set off for home. His stomach was in his boots and he had been feeling nauseous all afternoon. It wasn't improving as he walked towards Church House. This could be the final straw to the ever patient Billy and that made him feel desperately sad. He still adored his Billy and would always feel the same. Not even Scott could change that, but how could he expect Billy to understand it when he couldn't himself? Whatever the outcome, he knew he owed it to Billy to tell him and that might as well be as soon as he got in, so his hand trembled as he attempted to unlock the front door. The house was quiet which was very unusual. He was usually greeted by sounds of Evie playing. He looked in the spot where the pushchair was kept but it was missing. Billy must have taken Evie out. It had been a lovely warm sunny afternoon so he had probably taken her to the red rec. Why today of all days? Why prolong his agony? Todd felt himself falling apart now that now he was actually in the peace of his own home. It was usually a comforting feel to him, but not today. He decided to go up into the bedroom, their place of sanctity and he sat on the bed. Thoughts came rushing into his head beginning with either "What if" or "If only." Todd felt his heart about to break with the heavy guilt which was flooding all over him. As the tears began to fall, he lay on the bed, his head buried in the pillow and cried. He was so overwhelmed by the guilt that he fell asleep. That was how Billy found him when he and Evie returned from the red rec. He put Evie in her cot with toys to occupy her and then went back into his bedroom. He walked around the bed and sat down, leaning against the headboard, his legs stretched out in front of him. He had a very heavy feeling about the situation he had found himself in as he allowed his imagination to run away from the scene. Todd within the depths of his sleeping mind, felt the movement of the mattress as Billy sat down and he slowly began to stir. As he came to, his head shot up and he stared at Billy  
"How long have you been there?" He asked  
. "I've just arrived" Billy told him, glancing at the tear stained face.  
"Did you go to the red rec?" he asked.  
"We did" Billy told him. " It was such a beautiful afternoon so we didn't want to waste it."  
Todd nodded.  
"So, "said Billy. "I'm guessing that there is something you want to share with me." There was no response. "Want to share then?" Todd thought to himself." No, not at all."Todd turned over and sat on the bed in the same style as Billy, leaning against the bedhead. "Are you going to tell me what it is?" Billy asked, afraid to make the enquiry. There was silence. Billy sighed loudly. "When are you packing your bags?"he asked.  
Todd nodded. "You've guessed what I was going to say then."  
Billy nodded. "I would have given up everything for you." he said.  
"I know. Likewise. Except for one thing. " " The biggest thing of all. Falling for someone else. And moving on with them. " Billy said with a huge mountain of sadness and regret in his voice. "Moving on with them?" Todd looked at Billy for the first time. "No," he said. "I would have to move back in with my mum.  
"Why? Surely you are talking about moving in with Scott" he said.  
"No. I'm not. I'm talking about being kicked out of my home and made homeless!" Todd exclaimed.  
Billy finally looked at Todd. "You are telling me you are leaving me for Scott aren't you."-Billy said.  
"No I'm not! "Todd told him. " I sat down with mum to try to actually work out what was wrong with me. I couldn't stay in the same room with the two of you yesterday. It was making me feel sick and angry and irritated all at the same time. I didn't know why. Mum worked it out, but not me."  
"So what was the cause?" Billy asked.  
"I have strong feelings for both of you so I can't deal with you both at the same time. Everything goes in to overload. " he explained.  
"Do you still love me Todd?" Billy asked softly.  
"My feelings are still the same as when I first told you I was in love with you."Todd said. "Im expecting that never to change. I'm yours for life."  
Billy was totally confused.  
"I thought you were telling me you were going to leave me. "Billy said quietly.  
"No. I was telling you I'm still in love with you, but I'm also in love with Scott. I don't know how that can happen, but it has. That was what I wanted to tell you. I'm in love with him but I don't want to live with him. I wanted to stay with you, but even you have limits and I assumed I had reached them. "  
"You are in love with Scott."Billy repeated" but you don't want to live with him?"  
"No. But my feelings are that strong so I had to tell you.I know it's going to cause problems if I ever have to choose between you for any simple thing. I wont be able to choose . I know I can't hide from you how I feel about him. I can't contain it. But he will be staying with Sean and I will be moving in with my mum"  
"Why with your mum"  
"Because I won't have anywhere else to go when you throw me out.How can you have me here now I've told you I'm also in love with Scott?"  
"Todd, do you still feel affection for me?Could you still live with me," Billy asked."I'm still in love with you and I always will be."  
Todd turned to look at him. "The only thing I can't say any more is ," I love you with all my heart, because it isn't true. Nothing else has changed. I still adore you , which was why I was so sad thinking I had lost you."  
"You haven't lost me."Billy said. "I will always be yours . I can't make that any different."  
Todd looked at Billy. " Can you possibly be telling me that you won't kick me out?" he asked.  
"Of course I won't. I love you. With all my heart. It all depends on whether you still want me!"  
Todd leaned over tentatively to kiss Billy and Billy retaliated. The kiss deepened and continued as Billy and Todd once again showed their deep love for each other in the way they knew best.

It was Sunday morning . Billy and Todd had been to church as usual and were walking down the road hand in hand towards Eileen's Sunday roast. They had felt totally in love all week and had spent as much time as possible close enough to be cuddling, holding hands, kissing, whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears. It was totally genuine. Their chat about Scott had brought them closer if anything and Todd especially had felt so relieved about that. He really thought he would have lost Billy for ever. Todd had not seen Scott since then, although Billy had chatted with him normally and Scott wondered whether Todd had actually explained the update. This was the first time they would have all been together and Todd was very agitated as they approached Eileen's front door. Billy sensed it and stopped.  
"What is it?" he asked. "You are worried about seeing Scott?"Todd nodded.  
"I will want him as soon as I see him. "he said, thinking he might as well tell the truth. "We have had such a loving week but when I set eyes on Scott, I know my heart will miss a beat and I will want to kiss him or much more. And you will be there seeing how I'm feeling"  
"Todd,"Billy said " I have accepted this odd situation. Twice. I don't know how I would cope with seeing you with your tongue down his throat. In fact, if possible I would not see that. You haven't told me how far this has gone so I'm assuming you've done it with him.I just don't want to have it right in my face."  
"We haven't done it" Todd told him.  
"But you will. It's inevitable and I'm not even thinking about stopping you. You are in love with him and I presume he feels the same. It's inevitable and I will see those telling looks, but I have to rise above that. If I can't, I'm sorry but I will really try. "  
"You are a saint Billy Grimshaw!"Todd said. "I don't know how this is happening - any of it. I really really don't want to throw it back in your face and hurt you. I'm very aware how easy that would be, but the main thing is, Sean can't suspect anything. How will that work? I'm sure if you see it he will too. He picks up on things like that very quickly. What the hell happens if Sean realises, I don't know, because I'm pretty sure he would not share and Scott would be put on his ear. Then what ?"  
Billy thought for a second.  
"You know what. He would have to come and live with us, wouldn't he. And no, I really can't see how that would work out! I'm starving. Can we go in now ?Please ?"  
Todd kissed Billy and went towards the front door with his key.  
Inside, Eileen was doing the last minute preparations to the dinner . Emily was playing on the carpet with Evie and Scott looking very agitated was sitting at the table. Sean at this moment was not in sight. Billy stopped Todd before they left the front door.  
"Kiss him if you can when you go in." he said, "unless Sean is there of course. I don't want you readjusting all day because you can't have anything you want when you are looking right at it. Got me?"  
Todd sighed., " I love you"he said."thank you"and they both appeared in the sitting room. Scott and Eileen both looked up, as did the girls and there were greetings a round until Todd approached Scott. He put a hand on his cheek and gave him a passionate kiss, his back to Billy. Eileen's eyes were on stalks!  
"Ok then?" he asked Scott, receiving no reply and then turning to his mum, "How are you doing mum?"  
Just at that moment, there was a clattering and Sean came running down the stairs.  
"Hi Sean"said Todd. "You ok?"  
"I'm wonderful thanking you. How long is dinner mum? I'm starving!"  
He went over to the table where Scott was sitting, bending to give him a quick kiss and then standing behind him, putting his hands on his shoulders to give him a half hearted massage.  
"Wow!l" he commented " You're really tense "  
Eileen raised her eyebrows as she left to check on the dinner. Billy and Todd ignored it, continuing to talk to the girls.Eileen stood in the kitchen observing the scene and hoping it would stay this peaceful. She prepared to dish out the dinner .  
"Do you need any help mum?"Todd asked.  
"I'll come and help." Scott said.  
"Hmph."said Sean. Don't you like my massage?"  
"Oh sorry," Scott said, but still got up and went to the kitchen to help Eileen serve the meal. Sean grunted and sat on his chair. Eileen served the meal and Scott passed out the plates. Todd took Evie's meal to feed her and Billy sat Emily at the table so that she could eat with Scott Sean and Eileen. He then went back to the sofa with a lap tray which matched Todd's.  
Eileen had as always cooked a delicious roast and everyone felt fat and full after it. The boys took turns afterwards to do the dishes and make a mug of tea. It was the turn of Billy and Scott on this occasion. Sean disappeared upstairs and Todd sat on the carpet with the two girls. Eileen sat in the arm chair watching Todd. Billy washed the dishes and Scott dried. They chatted generally until Billy changes the subject.  
"Scott, I know you won't want to talk about it, but I've told Todd not to fight this. He can't anyway and nor can you. If I denied him that right, it would go completely against my beliefs that everyone should be free to love whoever they fall for without rules, countries or churches telling them differently. It comes from being gay. I can't tell him who he cannot love and I can't tell you. We don't pick who we fall in love with, do we. I know he is in love with you and you are in love with him. I also believe him when he tells me he is also still in love with me and has no intention of leaving me. I am sorry for you because of that, but I also know that you love Sean and intend to stay with him even though you aren't in love with him. That does make me sad but I really don't want to lose Todd, because he is my soul mate and I think I am his. I know how hard this is for you. I told him to kiss you when he came in because it's what he should be able to do. I'm not pushing you together. It's far beyond that and I wouldn't be able to control any of it even if I wanted to. I care about you too Scott and I want you to be happy. If you and Todd can make this work and you aren't going to take him from me, then so be it. I can deal with it. I know you were shocked when he came in so I thought I would try to explain. You don't have to answer this because I know you can't. Just try to be happy. " The dishes were done but Scott couldn't move. The tears were streaming down his face silently.  
"If Sean isn't here I'll send Todd out to you", Billy said, squeezing Scott's arms as he passed and brushing his cheek with a gentle kiss. Scott was glued to the spot. As he had promised, Billy went in and asked Todd to go to the kitchen , taking his place with the girls. Todd was hesitant.  
"Go."Billy said.,"he needs you. If I shout Todd where's this tea? That means,Sean is coming. Ok.So go!" Todd got up and went towards the kitchen. He saw Scott still facing the sink, silent, shaking. His heart leapt in his throat as he approached him. He put his arms round his waist. Scott turned and grabbed Todd's shoulders and gripped tightly, his face against his neck. "What the hell happened here?" Todd asked." What did he say to you? " Nothing changed. "Scott, come on . I don't know what it's about." He paused." Ok then. We can stay like this, if it helps." He rocked him gently, resting his head on Scott's. They stayed like this for several minutes, until Billy shouted, "Todd where's this tea?;  
Todd tried to break contact with Scott.  
"Sean's coming "He whispered. Billy appeared in the kitchen doorway, summing up the situation.  
"Right. Make the tea Todd. "He said, taking hold of Scott's wrists and moving him away from Todd. He then put his arms round him. Scott didn't know what to do, but then hugged Billy, his face buried in his shoulder. Billy rubbed his back gently.  
Sean walked in to the sitting room.  
"Where is everyone?" he asked.  
"Making tea" Eileen said. "Ah"said Sean.  
"Daddy!"called Emily. "Will you play with us please?" Sean went straight away and sat down on the carpet. Eileen heaved a sigh of relief.  
Todd made the tea and brought out two mugs for Eileen and Sean. He took the other three mugs and put them on the table. When he returned to the kitchen, Billy pulled himself away from Scott, motioning to Todd to take his place, while Billy went to the table and sat down with a mug.  
Todd brushed back Scott's hair from his sticky face and looked at him. Scott raised his gaze from the floor and met Todd's eyes.  
"I still don't know what this is all about, but I think somehow you need to get a grip on it now because Sean's going to want to know what it's about too and I doubt you can tell him, so you need some quick thinking. Wash your face. See if that helps. I'm going back in."  
With that, Todd left the kitchen. He sat on the sofa. Eileen got up and picked up her mug, taking it with her. In the kitchen, she saw Scott standing as far away from the door as he could manage. "Oh dear" she said, putting her mug in the sink and then returning to the arm chair. Scott tried to sort himself out, picked up his tea and then went in to the sitting room to sit on the sofa beside Todd, but on the opposite end. He avoided looking at Sean who luckily had his back to him,sitting with the girls on the carpet.  
"I'm just going upstairs. Won't be a minute"Scott said, leaving the room. As Sean turned, he only saw Scott's back heading towards the stairs.  
Time went on and Todd was very aware that Scott had not come back. He was feeling agitated and hoped no one said anything to set him off in any way.  
"Where did Scott go?" Sean asked after some time. "Upstairs. "Todd said sharply  
"What's he doing ?"  
I can't see from here !" Todd barked.  
"Todd!" Billy warned. Todd looked at him but said nothing. He decided that this was the situation he was supposed to watch out for, so he determined to say no more.  
"Are you going to see if he's ok? Sean asked.  
"No" he barked.  
"Oh!" said Sean."You usually do!"  
Todd had a word with himself and said nothing. Instead, he looked over to Billy who was watching him carefully..  
"Are we ready to go?" he asked. Billy nodded instructing Evie to help pick up Emily's toys which she tried to do. Then Billy got up and clapped his hands at Evie who lifted up her arms to him. He lifted her high in the air and she squealed with excitement. He carried her to her pram as Todd got up and went over to kiss his mum. "Look after him, please!"Todd pleaded with her in a whisper, before joining Billy at the door, with Evie all ready to go. They shouted their goodbyes to Sean and cuddled and kissed Emily before closing the door behind them. Billy took one pram handle and Todd took the other as Billy put his arm round Todd's shoulders. Todd put his arm around Billy's waist.  
"I want to know what happened."Todd said.  


The next day was a working day and Scott was ready for his morning shift in the Rovers. He came down the,stairs and stopped to speak to Eileen who he found, n the kitchen washing dishes. She jumped when she realised someone was there .  
"You made me jump you fool!"she said.  
"Sorry"he said.  
"Just tell me one thing . Tell me you're ok. I was asked to look after you and I didn't. I wasn't able to. So if I know you're ok, I can pass that on. "  
"I am ok. Please tell him that. I couldn't talk to him either." Eileen nodded."Emily is fine upstairs. I'm on my way to work now so I'll see you later. Byeeee!"  
"Bye love. See you later " Scott left for the Rovers and Eileen stopped to text Todd before she went upstairs to Emily.  
  
On the following Sunday, Billy and Todd had just arrived when Sean came down the stairs. Eileen was in the kitchen and Scott was on the carpet playing with the girls. When they arrived, Scott stood up and hugged Todd and then put a hand on his waist, the other on his cheek. An open kiss followed just as Sean walked in to the room.  
"What's all this then?" he demanded. Todd and Scott parted with a pop of lips, looking very guilty.  
"I thought I would surprise everyone today by getting down early, but then you two come earier still!" He hugged Billy and then Todd and set out to the kitchen. Everyone looked at.each other in relief before taking their seats and waiting for Sean to make the tea. From then on Todd and Scott learnt their lesson and managed to keep the biggest secret of their lives !


End file.
